I had this job, well have. It is finally in my field and for a while it was great. I was learning and getting great experience.
I wanted for quite some time to be my own boss to write my own ticket. I got comfortable in the position and not having to bust my hump to make a buck.
Then my role changed. I had to take on a temporary but unknowingly temporary role that no longer involves what I love.
Since then I realized I had been taking short cuts. I have a book in the work to be published and I was playing it safe with my writing. I was so worried about losing my job by being to risque in the book so I curbed everything to make it safe. To keep myself safe in my job.
I find this is a recurring theme in my life. Holding back. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not giving it my all. By worrying about what I will always stand to lose and not looking at what I may gain.