“So, what are you doing this Valentine’s Day?”

“Hmm, nothing.”

“Ahh, you must be single.”

“Yeah, but what does that have to do with having no plans on Valentine’s Day?”


“Any plans for this Valentine’s Day?”

“Nope. Why?”

“Come with me. I’ll set you up with someone I know. He’s really great.”


“Come on now. You don’t wanna be alone again on Valentine’s Day, do you?”


“Don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. Spread the word out. We have to have it banned…for good when possible.”

“Uh, why?”

“Because it doesn’t fit our culture and religion here. Besides, it can lead young teenagers to courting – and it’s not appropriate here. Courting can also lead to promiscuity.”

“Uh, I don’t want to be a part of it, although I actually never celebrate Valentine’s Day either.”

“You’re just plain ignorant, are you?”



“Don’t send me flowers; I don’t eat them. I only eat chocolate, thank you very much.”

Okay, so that’s my corny joke I tell every year in February – either before or during Valentine’s Day – just to show that I don’t take it too seriously. It’s not that I’m anti-Valentine; I just don’t care. Sorry lovebirds and other red-and-pink enthusiasts for my lack of sensitivity nowadays. I’ve just had it with hearing the same old arguments and backlashes year after year after year here.

Whether you’d like to celebrate Valentine’s Day or not, fine by me. Just please, no need to bully the singles for being all alone (or wanting to be) on that day. Who says they have to have a partner right away? Who says it’s only a boyfriend-girlfriend thing? Maybe they prefer something else, like hanging out with their best friends and family members. Maybe it’s not much of a big deal to them.

Perhaps, they’re on a more interesting gig than just fetching for a potential ‘significant other’ out there. Perhaps they just want a quiet, peaceful ‘me-time’. Either way, let them have their own version of ‘fun’, so enough with the so-called social status superiority.

For me, love should be celebrated everyday. Love is a whole lot more than heart-shaped chocolate, pink candy, and red roses. Don’t forget about the possibilities of migraines, toothaches, and thorns prickling your fingers too. If you’re all brave and strong enough to get through all the ugliness possible and still choose to stick around, then congratulations. I sincerely hope that it’s real love that will last.

If you’re not its celebrators, don’t take part on any of it. It’s just that simple. Believe me, if people want to go courting and doing something ‘more’ that you fear or suspect because of that – who says they have to wait until Valentine’s Day? Why not give them the idea that ‘every action bears consequences’ that they may not be really ready for?


“So you don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.”


“But you don’t object that either.”

“That’s right. I’m being neutral about this whole idea.”

“You can’t stay neutral all the time. You’re bound to pick a side somehow.”

“Well, I already have. Mine. Wanna join?”



(Jakarta, 9/2/2016 – 5:50 pm)

A bleeding heart

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