i would like to think that out of fear/concern for my adult life they wanted to bestow upon me the gift of self-reliance. almost like a safety net. i will always have my own back and my own best interest so i need to rely on myself. to know that i will make connections with people, but there is never a guarantee that they will ALWAYS have my back.
i can trust people, i am in a long term and lovey dovey relationship, have friends, and love my family. but i always know that when it comes down to it, i will always have to look out for myself, assure myself that i am prepared for worse case, and hoping for the best case. doing this gives me peace of mind.
i am never afraid of the silence, never afraid to be the only one in the room, the only one to be on this train of thought.
the way my life had been so far, its been tough specially for my age. but i wouldnt trade a second of it for anything in the world. my experiences have made my prepare myself for the worse and hope for the best.
that is how i have lived my life so far. preparing and hoping.
to most it may not be a way to live, but it’s what has worked for me all my life.
this entry is mostly to thank my parents. they prepared me for life, they’re amazing people. i never tell them that to their faces or thank them enough. however, i will say that every day i am grateful for the way they raised me.
thank you mom and dad for teaching me that life is full of wonderful things, and full of shitty and difficult things.
when we are little, things are all rainbows and sunshine.
as we grow, the scariest things aren’t just monsters in the dark , and all those scary noises.
when we’re grumpy and rude teenagers, parents remind us that the real world is more than high school, the internet, and our friends.
as young adults, parents become older, and more human to us. they are people who have lived longer and been through what we still need to go through.
i am a young adult, i still need my parents. i will always be grateful to them for making me the person i am today.
mom and dad,
i am a good person, i am strong, i know when to be strong and when to be weak. thank you for every ounce of love. i treasure every life lesson. i admire each and every one of your characteristics, hope i have taken in your best ones, and will try my hardest to pass it on. you both raised me right, and i love you every second of every day for it.