After accidentally deleting last nights journal, I am going to try again. Hopefully I won’t hit the wrong key and lose this. What sucks is often when I write I just open my heart and what ever comes out, comes out and I can’t always remember exactly what I write and how I wrote it so when it’s gone it’s kind of gone and I can’t reproduce it.

My journey with sunshine seems to grow more every day. What started out as a Dominant/submissive and sexual dynamic is changing. Not in a bad way but a very good way. Each day I grow more fond and not just the sexual submissive, but the person and heart also. I have always felt that anyone can play at being a Dom and sub but to truly feel the power exchange that is desired you have to deeply know your partner.  The one dynamic that Wwe deal with is the fact that sunshine is in a struggling, one sided marriage. I understand the situation and I am truly striving to be who she needs me to be. I need her to understand that I will support her in whatever direction she wishes to go. Deep inside I hope her marriage can work but with what I am learning of her husband, I have serious doubts but want her to give it a final try before she would decide to move on. She needs to know I have her back and will support her. I don’t know if she and I would have a future together or not but I refuse to let that determine how I help her through what she is going through. I am prepared to walk away if I need to or I am prepared to continue as I am as a protector and Dominant figure for her. If it goes the other way, I would seriously consider something deeper with her also once her decision is made. For now I am happy with where we are and getting to know her deeper. I hope she feels the same. I believe she does. I know she does.

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