What Do I Want?

What do I want in life?

I don’t know why this question is keep haunting me for the past few months. Well it has been on my mind since I was in my second year of college.

People act like they know what they want (hmm maybe they do) but to me, if your answer would be like, ‘I wanna be rich, have a family, and get a nice job’, sorry you’re not helping.

I ever lost my interest for a guy because of this answer. It feels like a bigger part of me is trying to find out what is the meaning of living! There is must be more to life. Not only graduating from school, finding jobs, making money, having family, making babies (duh).

I am sure I am not the only one who struggles with this thoughts! I am 27 already and I don’t know what I really want. It does sound pathetic (at least I feel that way). I am pretty proud of what I have got, I do have some targets that I gotta achieve. I have my timeline. But, i have to ask myself, would it make me feel ALIVE?

I know finding the answer requires struggles and pain. But don’t you think better to take risks than do nothing and follow the (boring) pattern that people usually choose? I will be end up like them. Maybe (just my personal opinion) they will think about what I am talking now, when they are old. And maybe they will feel regret.

Sh*t I admit I am afraid with that word. Because it means I could not go back and fix the thing. And will take it for the rest of my life.

Heyyy life is only once! I don’t want to live it by doing what people think it is right or people think I should do it.

This is my life, I can draw it with my colors, can’t I? I need to spare my time to evaluate what I write today. Somehow by writing my thoughts can make me feel better and find the answer. 

All I know, for now, most people stop searching and boooo your time is running out! Fortunately I found one author few months ago. And I feel excited by reading his articles. I am impressed with his way of thinking. I think I am a life learner but he, is a thinker, truly life enthusiast. He has opened my mind. And made me think again when I stop asking myself, WHAT DO I WANT?

Okay I gotta revise my timeline. Cheers!

One thought on “What Do I Want?”

  1. I think it was St. Augustine who said the heart is made with a God-shaped void that only God can fill. Something to think about. Somebody who loves you for sure is Jesus. I hope things get clarified and better for you. (smile) Blessings.

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