Flirt Buddies

So as I stated in other journal entry I have had always had male friends.  There was never any sexual feelings with any of those people.  We just always knew we were friends and nothing else.  It didn’t matter to us.  Even after I got married, my husband accepted the fact that I had male friends.  We even met through a mutual male friend.  A couple of years ago I met someone that was like not other person I had met before.  There was an attraction there that had never been there with  my male friends before.  I was finding myself as giddy as a girl in middle school or high school.  I couldn’t make complete sentences, I was blushing and couldn’t wait to speak to him again.  I soon learned that the feeling was mutual.  We were both married and knew that we didn’t want to cheat on our spouses.  So we decided not to be friends, but to be flirt buddies.  We would flirt when we saw each other.  We didn’t work directly with each other, but there were times with our working careers would cross paths.  When they did it was wonderful.  You have a new person telling you how great you look.  Telling you all the things they would enjoy doing with you.  (If only you all could be single.)  Love making with my husband was wonderful, but on those days it would go from a 10 to a 20.  I soon learned that a flirt buddy was the best thing ever to have.  I even started to tell my husband about it.  At first he wasn’t too happy about the idea.  Then he started to add things I should say and do.  This went on for a couple of years.  Now all of a sudden my flirt buddy has stopped being nice and is just right down rude at times.  He ask one day if we would still be doing this at 50.  I told him we probably would that it was fun.  He agreed.  He was starting to get to the point of talking about crossing the line and become more than flirt buddies.  At first I didn’t want to talk about it, because of the strong attraction I was afraid I might.  Finally one day we ended up alone working on a project.  I was up getting some papers when he approached me what we could be doing and what I thought about it.  He never laid a hand on me, but I was wanting him to.  I finally just looked at him and said would you just shut up talking about it already and do something about it.  He stopped like I smacked him in the face and said you know I can’t do that.  I’m married and so are you.  Ever since then he has been rude and doesn’t come around like he use too.  I feel bad now and feel awkward.  Even though my experience has ended bad with a flirt buddy.  Anyone that has an opportunity to have one.  I would do it.  Those couple of years were awesome.

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