Pamela and I have quite a similar personality. I can understand her easily. Ever since she found out about Larry, her ex, had a new gf (Helena), she would whine and rant about it bitterly. She hates the thought of her being replaced and Larry, after being together for 10 years, has got over her so quickly. She doesn’t want her ex to be happy. She thinks Larry has let her down. Surely, I’ve been there myself. It’s not healthy to think that way but I’ll be honest, I can’t fucking help it. Having said that, I have never done anything to ruin my ex’s new relationships. In fact, I never speak to any of them again after we broke up.
Larry and Pamela were somehow still in touch, even though their breakup wasn’t pretty. Larry also followed Pamela’s online journal (which she’s made public) from time to time. One time, Larry showed Helena one of Pamela’s posts. She made a not-so-nice comment on Pamela’s behaviour according to what she’d read. Stupidly, Larry went and told Pamela. She got very mad and wrote something nasty about Helena on the blog, even exposing Helena’s real name. Of course, since Larry still read her journal, he found out very soon what she’d written about his gf and was very upset. He then told Helena about it and she also got very upset. Long story short, Helena is now an ex. And Larry no longer talks to Pamela.
When our friend Cindy, who’s still friends with Larry, heard the whole thing from Pamela, she was highly concerned about Pamela’s behaviour. She even disapproved Pamela’s action.
“1) you don’t know Helena at all. 2) you didn’t hear what Helena really said with your own ears, it could’ve been misinterpreted 3) using Helena’s real name is a bad idea, you could ruin her life if people found your blog and saw what you’d written about her. 4) you’re hurting Larry. 5) things might backfire on you later.” Cindy said.
Pamela wasn’t having ANY of it. She thought Cindy was attacking her! But I know Cindy meant no harm and only wanted the best for Pamela. Anyway, they had a fallout since then. Cindy didn’t know what to do. She felt bad but at the same time, she didn’t think she’d done anything wrong.
So eventually, Cindy said she’s going to apologise to Pamela. Perhaps her words didn’t come out right and it hurt Pamela. Good for her. Because I know she is not the type who would usually break the ice first.
My thoughts: When I first heard Cindy’s story, I have to say… WTF? I thought she was being too level-headed to a person who was angry and emotional. I could feel Pamela’s anger because like I said, we’re kind of similar. Except I wouldn’t have gone as far as exposing someone’s real name and write nasty things about them on a public blog. To Pamela, Cindy probably sounded like she was defending Helena. But come to think of it now, I realize what Cindy REALLY meant. She’s worried that things might backfire on Pamela and she’ll end up getting hurt in the end. As a true friend, she just wanted to warn Pamela about it. Nothing’s wrong honestly. But I guess when you’re angry, it’s kind of hard to listen to others. You may also hear different meaning in things that people say and take offence… especially from those who don’t agree with you. I completely understood. Pamela does have a lot of issues right now, I hope she will get over her obstacles and be healthy physically and mentally again.