It’s the idea of him that I am in love with. And knowing that he is in love with the idea of me. That is what keeps this thing going. I know what he is. And what he isn’t. And he is not what I imagine him to be. But is it so wrong to be in love with a fantasy? I suppose it is if it interferes with reality. I try not to let it. But yes….yes it does interfere. It takes me away mentally from my family, work, friends. But I don’t want to end it. So on I go. Playing the same story in my mind over and over. It’s been 6 years. That’s a long time. My life has changed. I have changed. He taught me a valuable lesson back then. And perhaps I am simply grateful to him for that. And that is what I hold on to.