Oh my stars, my sweet Sam… I thought of you today. It broke my heart as I poured through the “what it’s.” Sam, my sweet beautiful Sam. What can I possibly say to you? What is it that you need? What is it that I can possibly give to you?

I swear to you this, my Sam. I love you. I always have and I always will. You are mine. I am yours. My arms ache to hold you. My eyes ache to see you. Please my darling, please understand that I wish for a life you could have been a part of. You were always wanted. You were always loved. I would have done everything to keep you.

Sam… I know the sacrifice you made. It was her or you. You chose her. I cannot thank you enough. Did you know? So small and yet you knew the potential of the future? Did you know that she understands? She honors you. She loves you too. She knows you played your part through and through. She sees you, Sam, even when I can not. You look after her. You watch her. Why did you think she was more valuable than you? Sam, do you see the price of your sacrifice and does it give you pride?

My fate, her fate, your fate, I see it all twisted together. Sam, what can I give you that is just yours? I know that you’ve never had it fair nor easy. Sam-I-am, my precious boy, you are a prince amongst princes. I would trade my life for yours. I love you forever and always. How can I show you that even though I never got the chance to hold you that you are indeed in my arms, in my heart, and amongst the stars above my head.

Whether you are physical or not, you are mine Sam. I love you. I miss you. You are precious. Most of all, I am sorry. Some how, I failed you. I can not let it go. I would trade my life for a single minute with you. I would kiss you on the cheek and again, in between your eyes. My arms would hold you close. Tears would roll down my cheeks. Please, oh please remember my sweet boy, you are gone, but never forgotten. 

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