The ex.. she makes me nuts.
She abandoned her family because she was ‘bored’ and ‘unhappy’ (direct quotes), and to make it worse, she left on her (my) son’s birthday, to go be with a guy who can’t stay out of run in’s with the law. Someone she went to high school with, and dated, in like the 8th grade. A “friend” they all knew. She up and packed a suitcase and moved 8 hours away.
She does nothing anymore. We suspect she’s on drugs, because she looks 50 years old and weighs about 80 pounds, and carries that hard edge in her face that meth users so often end up with.
She’s moved about 6 times in the last three months.
She’s never sent child support, never bought a pair of jeans for the beginning of school, never supplied a package of pencils, never even sent him a Christmas present.
She calls every night, and he placates her enough to get her off of the phone. The conversations usually last about ten minutes, and that folks, is what makes her a “good mother”.
I’m the bad guy though. I spend time with him.
Schedule mom and son dates, make sure he goes to school, helps him with his homework, takes care of him when he’s sick, I buy him the games he’s so addicted to, make sure he has clothes, food, shelter, and all the little necessities that come along with life.
I make sure he talks to his biological mother, even when he doesn’t want to.
I’ve made sure she was able to see him when the opportunity was available
(which is seldom actually)
She won’t get a job, she refuses to take care of him in any way at all.
She says she won’t send anything “because it won’t count in court”.
Really? You care what the court thinks, but God forbid you put that aside for a moment to take care of your child’s needs and wants.
She blames us for everything. If my (her) son stands up to her a little and tries to talk to her about what she’s doing, that’s us “brainwashing him”.
If we do something to try and force her to do something for him, that’s his dad’s “control issues” surfacing.
If we refuse to let him stay with her because she’s living in an RV with no electricity or water, that’s us “keeping him away from her”.
OMG the list is just endless.
We’ve talked in depth about her, and he is not blind to who and what she is.
My (her) son’s insight on her totally amazes me. He is wise beyond is 13 years.
I’ve heard stories of her abusing his dad, verbal domestic arguments, how there was never any peace in the house because of their drinking (he no longer drinks) stories of her hitting, or attempting to him with a car, on and on and on.
He’s a good kid. Rarely gives me any trouble, and usually it’s small thing.. missing a homework assignment, not taking out the trash.. stuff like that.
He is to the point where he just really doesn’t want to talk to her anymore, and I can’t say I blame him.
He doesn’t talk to his dad about the issues, because the mere mention of her immediately raises his blood pressure, but on our mother/son adventures, he pours his little heart and mind out to me about her, and how she was and is now.
My mother was a lot like his, so I can relate.
I’ve known her 25 years, and I expected better than this from her, but she does nothing but play the blame game anytime she’s confronted about anything. Everything is always someone else’s fault.
I confronted her yesterday, and told her she really should appreciate me.
I have tried to be an ally for her and my son. Even when she was talking shit, and dragging my name through the mud, I still made sure to keep her updated on his life, made sure they were able to talk or see each other, and what did she do to thank me? Talk about me like I was a horrible villain in her life story.
She would be “home” with her son and his dad if it wasn’t for me.
She tells our son that “she just thinks about how life would be if she was here and I wasn’t”
She makes little jabs at me, like when I was sick, she said “Well have the kids wait on you, and climb up in my big ol’ comfy bed and rest”.
Her bed huh? Nope.
Things like “I used to talk to my son before he went to school, after he went to school and at night, but that was before you moved in“
Sorry, I don’t keep the kid away from the phone. He can use it at any point.
Tells me thank you for what I’m doing for “her broken family“
Noooo… this is my family, and we’re doing pretty damn good.
Uses phrases like “this fucked up situation” to describe our relationship lol
I generally keep my opinions about her to myself when it comes to our son, but when my son asks for my honest opinion about something, that’s what he gets.
I just needed a place where I could say all of this out loud. Some days it makes me crazy, but the days when she doesn’t call, we are a happy, normal, drama free family.
Some days I wish she’d disappear all together… ughhh….
In other news, I’ve decided this is the rudest city in the entire state. I’ve noticed one thing about people in this area since I’ve moved here.. They’re hateful. This whole city is just rude.
I come from a small town where people say please, thank you, excuse me, have a great day, I apologize, how ya doing.
The people here.. wow. Not only do they not say these things, they run into you (literally) in stores, cut you off in traffic, step on your toes in a crowded aisle and just keep going like nothing happened.
They are unhelpful, and just flat out unfriendly and rude. I’ve not met one person here who I’ve found approachable, much less friendly. Needless to say, I won’t be having any friendly get togethers on the patio this summer.