I get it so I have to take care of myself too!

In the previous rant about the neighbor who stops by the friend’s house I’m watching, I understand she has problems. I am going through a few similar problems, but I gotta take care of my own health. No one knows what I have been through with my own health, depression, anxiety, social phobia, and suicidal thinking sometimes. These last two months of 2016 have been hard. I put down my older dog, in December …my health started acting up, there were other obstacles I had to get through. My health was making me miserable. I am starting to feel some better. The eye of the storm….but if my friend gets mad at me or thinks I am being rude then fine because I had rather worry more if I broke something of hers or the house caught fire or I really did something bad. My health and sense of spirituality come first and unless someone is falling and bleeding then I will call for help but I cannot keep this woman company. I am a follower, not a leader. This woman that comes over needs her friend when she gets back from California. 

I need my privacy. Some of our family is also more private. For example, my uncle just died the 21st. The burial is so private they are only having the sons, the widow, daughters in law and grand daughter at the burial then setting up a memorial at a place of worship. I am okay with that. I can be at his memorial. They want privacy. Maybe they are too upset to let people see how they feel. That is how some of us are.

I have put up with discomfort for years and not spoke up and I suffered for it. I am not feeling calm about this neighbor visiting a lot. She can make due until Saturday when my friend comes back. I am not going to let this interfere with my work here….house sitting and I am not being paid because I owe my friend for a favor she did for me. But I don’t owe her neighbor that much. I met her and talked and I’m wanting to be alone.

If that is not understood, I don’t care…but I know what I need.

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