This day is not that good.. I was in bad mood.. I just don’t want to make a big deal out of it as much as possible coz she’s my friend.. but sometimes I don’t feel like she is.. I have my own faults too… and that is letting them rely on me.. I am always doing my best to help them in any way I can.. like for example in some school works.. it feels nice to help but sometimes they just let me do the whole thing as if it was my work.. they got used to me helping them.. one of our friend would just approach me if she needs anything.. sometimes I just can’t say no.. Coz they’re my friends and I love them.. but sometimes I doubt if they think of me the same way.. I really do value friendship a lot..
Maybe I should stop caring too much.. but I don’t know how.. I rarely get mad at my friends.. but when I do.. just know that I’m fed up already.. that I’m pushed beyond my limit.. I let it all pass for more than a hundred times already.. literally.. and maybe that’s why they think that what they’re doing is fine with me.. sometimes they mess me over.. because they’re my ‘friends’ I let them do it to me over again.. I’ve been through a lot of hurt already and I don’t want to add it up.. they know it but they neglect it.. They knew what I have been going through.. but still they doesn’t understand me.. they still don’t see what’s hidden behind my eyes , behind me silence and behind my smiles..
Good thing we don’t have class tomorrow.. I won’t have to deal with them even just for a day.. a day away from school.. sounds great!