Being abandoned…

Lately I have been abandoned by a few people. By the two people that I thought that would never abandon me. I can’t really blame the second person, but I still am extremely hurt by it. The first person is my mother. She decided she was going to relapse and stay that way. It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen or heard from her. The last time I saw her was mother’s day, and the last time I heard from her was in August when she got angry at me, my sister and my brother getting together for my brother’s birthday. 3 months of not hearing from her or seeing her and she had the guts to TEXT me, not call, and yell at me for seeing my brother hahaha. Drug addicts are funny people. She left me while I was pregnant. All a pregnant woman wants is her mother. My first pregnancy and I didn’t have my mother nor my father. How amazing is that? Plenty of sarcasm if you didn’t know in this..Anywaaays, she’s gone. She came back around for a little bit because she got put in jail for almost a month, but they let her go. She was detoxing so she was becoming herself. Calling my father asking about my little brother and calling her mother often. Now that she’s out, she’s long gone. Been a month now. She asked my father for money, he obviously turned her down and she told him she was running off, but never said where. Her kids are all alone without their mother. 3 kids. No mom. 3 grandchildren and only one grandma on both sides. My sister has a different father, and he’s dead, so all my sister sadly has are her siblings, 2 kids, baby daddy and his family, it’s something, but that poor girl needs her mother. She left all 6 children.

Next up is her boyfriend. He came into my life pretty quickly. I wasn’t ok with it at first because I was almost 18 years old, what girl my age needs a father now? That’s what I thought. He grew on me. Became my father figure. Promising that he would never leave me, even asked me if he could adopt me on Christmas. That never happened. What did happen was that he found a new girlfriend and left state to where she lives. I can’t be mad because he isn’t my real father and has every right to leave, but you can’t keep me around while my mother is only God knows where then all of a sudden drop me like I never existed. How can people do this to children?

I have my first child and I couldn’t even imagine abandoning my baby. Who could hurt children like they do? I will never understand what so ever. My love for my child is so damn strong that I can’t even explain it. I never knew how strong this love could be. When my son had to be in the NICU for 3 weeks and not be able to come home, or be rested into my arms  and cuddle into my chest as soon as he was born, brought even more love out for him. I didn’t even go back to work due to it all. I sat by my baby’s side every day. I couldn’t even sleep right because he wasn’t by my side every night. I was so miserable. I couldn’t imagine my life without my precious baby boy. Seriously, how can one leave their child..?

One thought on “Being abandoned…”

  1. I am so sorry, I know what you are going through. My parents just kicked me out of the house and I’m staying with a friend temporarily. 9/10 of my so-called friends have stopped talking to me and won’t explain why. My boyfriend thinks I cheated on him with his brother. So I understand where you are coming from and I know how hard it is. Please feel free to contact me if you ever need anyone there for you.

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