Windy Day

The winds howled fiercely today. Broken tree limbs sailed past my window. The house shook. It would seem as if the Ides of March have come in early this year, in like a lion out like a lamb.

Yesterday night Snoochie did the dishes (it’s her assigned chore). The seal on one of the pipes couldn’t hold up and the kitchen flooded. How lovely… I kept my calm through this mild disaster. Sometimes I like to embrace the chaos life throws at me. Snoochie helped me clear out the cabinets below the sink and mop up all the gross standing water. This morning my handyman, The Man fixed the sink. Life goes on.

After ranting about my weight and spring time goals in my blog yesterday, I fired up the yee ole wii fit. I’ve gained ten pounds since last year. Oh crap. It may not seem like a lot, but trust me, it is. I’ve always been that awkward skinny girl who could cram anything I wanted down my throat and never gain an ounce. I’ve actually had people seriously accuse me of being anorexic before and they’ve tried to stage an intervention. Their false assumptions amused me. I eat like a total pig… in fact, my diet was total crap back in my skeletor days. Add that to the fact that I don’t routinely exercise and I never have. Yes, I am energetic and yes, I am always in motion… but you’d never see me running miles around town. What I had was a fast metabolism. Now that I’ve actually gained and held on to some weight, I am facing the fact that my metabolism has slowed down. I’m aging. These are the facts that I must face.

The kids had a blast watching me run on the wii, do step aerobics, and tried out some yoga. After just two days of a 30 minute work out my thighs are aching! I will not let this deter me and secretly I love the burning pain. It’s a sign of my hard work. If I’m sore tomorrow I plan on sucking it up, take some Aleve, and stay true to my regiment. All I have to do is lose 10 pounds. I am realistically giving myself 2 months to accomplish this. I know I’ve got what it takes.

The Man was in a mood this morning. I thought about it on the dark drive home from work tonight. We’re experiencing a minor drift. He is so important to me. I choose him. I love him. I’d like to take some of his stress and frustration a way. I need to leave in an hour to go pick him up from work. He didn’t sleep good last night hence his grumpy cat exterior today. My plan is to give him a nice back rub before he falls asleep. I’m not a very outwardly affectionate person and sometimes I forget how important physical human contact can be to others. You see, as an empath who ever touches me (or vice versa) causes me to feel their emotions. It can be an overwhelming , over stimulating experience. It’s not always pleasant. You can not hide your true self from me. When I have physical contact with other people it’s as intimate as them being naked in front of me. With The Man it doesn’t matter. We have nothing to hide from each other. I had made a habit of avoiding contact so unfortunately I neglect the ones I love, like The Man. He’s too bashful and grown-up to seek me out for hugs like my sweet babies do.

The wind is still roaring. I can hear the snap of branches as a type. I can hear debris flutter along the road. Toothless (my kitty) is sleeping soundly in her bed next to mine. Andy and Jake are chirping out in the hallway. I really love my life. 

One thought on “Windy Day”

  1. Are you an aquarius? My sign often leaves people to think that I’m cold, when in fact I’m anything but..
    In reply to your comment, if you believe that perhaps your dx is bleak, maybe instead of avoiding it, take this time to tour facilities??
    Talk to the CNA’s, they spend the most time with the patients and know the most.
    If you can get them alone, they’re likely to tell you the truth.
    LPN’s and RN’s generally know the dx, due labs, and medications, but the CNA’s are the ones who take care of the patients day in and day out.
    They’re also generally happy to out any other shift that may be lazy, or not up to par on the job.
    Get your dx, if it is what you think it is, then have a plan. Get the medications you need. Talk to your family for support. Get a good doctor. There’s no reason to live in fear. Then start touring facilities to ease your mind knowing you have a back up plan if your dx is correct, and at some point you worry they can’t take care of you.

    Also evaluate any meds you might be on. I often experience twitches and serious jerks of the limbs because I have med induced dystonia. Its annoying at best, and often keeps me from being able to sleep. After a long night of working, I’ll jerk myself awake once I’m trying to sleep lol

    And lastly, thank you so much for your note. I find it amazing that anyone finds my journal interesting, much less helpful 🙂

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