As a child, I suffered from Asthma. It is very common among kids, and adults too. However, as I grew older, I got rid of it… or so I thought.
A couple of days ago, I was ready to go to the doctor to check up on my cough. Last time I went for such a case was in early January of 2016… which is very recent. Just as I was about to leave my room, I coughed. Little did I know that this cough will alter the course of the next 5 days of my life.
The cough sent a striking pain toward the center of my back… leading me to drop my purse, phone, and car keys. I stood there for 30 seconds… frozen… in agony. I couldn’t handle it, and so my cries of pain signaled for my mothers interference. She was still on her cell phone, talking to my aunt… and screaming while she narrates to her what was happening with me. I laughed, and it hurt me bad.
Despite the pain, I decided to approach my bed and lie down to understand whats wrong with me. I’m 23, so why is this happening to me? I got no job, no boyfriend, no husband, and no kids… so why does it feel like the weight of the world is pushing against my back? I remember that it was 12 PM… I lied there for a couple of hours, till mum came back to check up on me. Can you believe it? Mum is the one who was helping me off the bed… moving was a nightmare! Again, I’m 23, and I am the one who is supposed to help my mum in such cases… not the other way around!
A couple of hours later, mum and I went to a hospital near by. The doctor then checked up on me, and when I told him exactly what happened to me earlier, he said that I got my asthma back… and its severe. Obviously, I should quit smoking (at least for the meantime, haha), I should stay away from the air conditioning, I should avoid stress and sadness (really?)… plus, no more cold drinks or ice cream for a very long time (welcome to my hell)!
In the title, I mentioned that my Asthma is like a friend that never left. Its only been day 2 on my house rest (out of 5), and my sickness proved more worthy to me than most of my friends. A lot has happened with so many of them, that I have come to realize that I am slowly being neglected by them. I have lost friends before, but those are special… they seem more like a family to me. Staying at home to rest made it clear to me that I have been deceived by some, and allowed a couple to walk over me and abuse my kindness. Asthma isn’t only striking my pathetic lungs… its also giving me an emotional handicap.
Asthma will never leave. It may hide again, like it did as I was growing up… but its a part of me. Lying in the hospital bed, while getting the needle and the oxygen mask, I realized that things will never be the same again for me… I have to be extra careful from now on. Any wrong move, and it would be like suicide… I am so fragile, I can die easily right now. As simple as a flick of a light switch… except, its not a switch, just my lungs. My weak lungs.
If I left… now or tomorrow… I know I won’t be alone. Asthma will always be by my side, and it will probably be the reason of my departure.