I just realized I’ve been in denial about something for months. When he broke up with me, I felt like I was fine. As time went on, I was angry at him and kept telling myself I moved on.
4 months later and I realized deep down in my heart I haven’t let him go. He’s still on my mind a lot. Not as much as he used to be…but I still waste time thinking about him. It would be easier to move on if I didn’t have a class with him almost everyday. Sometimes I catch myself thinking “Wow he looks cute today” when I catch small glimpses of him.
Whats wrong with me?
I’m angry at him because he suddenly changed his mind and lead me on pretty much. But at the same time I understand why he did what he did. I think he’s stupid, but I still yearn for us to be a couple. I think to myself “Maybe we liked each other at the wrong times, but in the end we’re meant to be with each other.”
My thoughts are such a mess honestly. Do I still like him because he was the first guy I fell for? Or is it because I’m not occupied with anything else so my mind just randomly drifts to him? I don’t know anymore. I just want to get over him but for some reason I’m not letting myself.