The Last Time

The last time

I was able to play the part well

Everything had built up inside of me 

But when you were ready the feeling was already gone

I wanted to delve into a different realm

Flashes of bodies on the screen

A movie that would make the mood more fun

That would make me rendered helpless

My suggestions didn’t work but I was able to see

That you were just like me, your kinks were just like mine

However this time it was so rushed

It felt like with so many other people

Rushed and I don’t like that

You asked me why must it always be so rough so dark

Why is it the only way I can enjoy it

It’s not, that’s just the only way I enjoy it  with you

To make love to you would only burden my heart more

How could I possibly make love to someone who doesn’t love me

The more disconnected the better

And that last time I disconnected more than I ever have with anyone

When it came time to me I didn’t even care

That was rushed too as you urged me over and over to hurry up

I shared a part of me with you that was vulnerable and yet I had to hurry

I felt empty, nothing, loneliness afterwards

I didn’t even find comfort in you holding me

I knew that it would be the last time 

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