Come Back, Go Away

“I miss you, I love you, I need you in my life…” He says as he grabs her face to kiss her. “Leave me alone, stop telling me you love me,” he says again as he shoves her broken pieces out of his room. 

I don’t get it, simply put. I don’t understand how I could become a convenience to the man that I gave so much of myself to. He uses me, he hurts me, and then he wants me back when it is convenient for him. But what do I do? I want him back, I want to be full again, happy again. I go through life feeling like I am going through the motions. The mundane things are just that, mundane… The exciting things in life are mundane, nothing matters, but yet everything does. I lost who I was in this relationship, so is it good that I no longer have it. So I can find who I am? I don’t know, I wish the guideline to life was in my hand. The answers to the future right in front of me to prevent further pain… 

I’m broken, I’m lost. Should I stay or should I go? 

3 thoughts on “Come Back, Go Away”

  1. I cant give you advice because I am in the same boat. This really sucks seeing that there is someone else feeling the same pain I am going through. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone it hurts so bad. I guess in our hearts we both should know the right answer is to leave but doing what is right does not always feel so doable is the real issue at hand here.

  2. The “guideline” to life IS in your hand… and in your heart and brain. You are in charge of you, your happiness, and your future.

    The fact that you are going back and forth on this is says 2 things:
    1. You don’t trust him. Why should you? If you don’t trust him how can you possibly get back into a healthy relationship with him? If he’s a good guy who made a mistake than explain where you are coming from to him, objectively… don’t put the blame on him. You can say something like “I really love you, but I was so invested in us that I forgot about MYSELF so when we broke up I was devastated. I can’t do that to myself again. If this guy is worthy of your awesomeness than he’ll understand and work with you to rebuild the relationship on a sturdy foundation.

    2. You’re putting too much control of your life in his hands. Seek yourself. Find out how awesome and independent you are. Stay busy. Gravitate toward hobbies that you enjoy. Keep your head up and stay positive. It will get better.

    I hope that advice helps. Good luck with your decision.

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