You know, it gets really depressing when you try so hard, and to no one else, it doesn’t seem to matter. I am WORKING my butt off to do well in school, not just for myself, but for my family, and I think all this is getting to me. I don’t feel good about myself anymore, I feel like I’m not good enough…. I don’t know what to do either. Should I stay and see where it goes, should I switch? What would I do instead? Am I in the right major? All these questions make my head spin….but what can I do about it? I know I have to “take charge” of my own life and “make the best of it”, but where do I start? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or focus on first…. I think I’m just thinking took much….ironic isn’t it? Life would be so much better if I was able to know WHAT it is I’m destined for. It scares me to think of a life where I don’t sing or do something that is related to music. But what should I do then? I’ve already put so much time, blood, sweat, and tears….it just feel stupid to give up now. I don’t know what I’m going to do, wish I had someone to talk to though….Yea I have friends and family, but I don’t think they’d understand. Maybe Marcos could help me…but he’s so busy these days, I don’t know. That’s what I keep saying… “I don’t know”. I wish I DID know. What to do, what to say, what to ask for help with. I’m trying to take it day by day, but my mind is going a mile a minute and I just want it to STOP. I want to stop thinking for a while. I want to fall in love, I want to forget about homework and grades….I just want to live! But then I think I’m just trying to take the easy way out. There’s no way to win is there….when will it finally stop…

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