Want to feel wanted!

You want to know what is funny.I find it so hard for myself to feel wanted in anyway that exists.I try to ignore the fact that i feel this way but it is so hard and i am not saying that i want someone to like marry me or anything if that makes any fucking since but i just want someone to want me the way i want them weather it be “sexually”,or “just lay down with me and cuddle me while i cry about my shitty life” type thing.I know all this may sound crazy but that is just how it is  like yeah i have a boyfriend and all but sometimes he drives me crazy and we break up and makeup and it is so annoying.My family freaking loves him way to much they call them there other son.Just a few days ago i confessed that i had feelings for someone else but it was one of those things that was like “i should of told you when you thought about me” type things idk and i am trying to forget about it because i don’t think it is possible for the me and him situation thing to happen and also because i truly care about the person i am with now and i don’t want to let go of someone i care about and loose them for someone who doesn’t view me how i view them. I feel like even if they did i would be going in to it blind i wouldn’t even know the first action or step to take so maybe it is healthy for me to stay where i am at now rather than to keep jumping from rock to rock.I just want whatever i do to result in happiness.I am happy  where i am at now but i think i have an issue of running away when things get hard and i think the cause of that would be the fact that parts of my life when things got to hard where i couldn’t bare it resulted in ending my life and that is always a dark place to be and it just scares the shit out of me.I don’t know i’ll try though.

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