It has been forever since I have been on here. When I stop I always forget how therapeutic this is for me. I guess one reason I stopped is because I put my guard up and not wanting to let people know my life is not perfect. The thing is that none of us have a perfect life. We all are in this world taking it one day at time and dealing with challenges that are put in front of us every single. So I’m giving my apologies that I went into to hiding “per say”. Hiding from true self and not allowing you all this journey I promised I would share. So here I go to become vulnerable and continue to share my journey…

This past week in half has been a week that I have questioned my faith, myself, and ability to be a good mother. When our children are hurting whether it be a scraped knee, the flu or more serious illness we want nothing more than to make our children better. Sometimes though we are faced with illnesses that can’t be fixed with just a kiss and band aid. That is when we as parents feel helpless. For the protection of my son I will be a little vague on his diagnosis. Just know the next time you are scrolling on Facebook and you the posts about the “silent” illnesses where you look fine on the outside but sick on the inside take a moment to really appreciate that those illnesses are real. Though we have answers to and a direction to help my son I still was very upset and asking why my baby? At one point during this week I prayed asking God to please don’t give me any more on my plate. Right when I finished my prayer my phone rang and it was friend saying how strong and courageous I have been through everything my entire life, and that this was just a bump and I will be even stronger through this. I thought to my self while she was telling me these things, i’m not courageous or strong. At this point I’m just surviving to get through each day and looking for ways to help my son. When I saw this quote about courage it struck a chord because courage comes in all ways and not always by roaring. There will always be great days and hard days but at the end of each day there will always will be tomorrow. My son will have need some special accommodations and it will change the daily routine in our life but thats okay. I may not be able to fix it with just a kiss or a band aid but I can work each day to make his little world better with all of the tools given to us and lots of patience. This little boy was brought into my life and I was chosen to be his mommy for a reason. God knows that I can handle this and it is only going to make me a stronger as a person and mom. So next time you don’t feel that you are courageous remember, waking up every day and facing it is courage in itself.

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