The Monster is still with me. It greets me every morning, keeping me in bed. I struggle to ignore it more and more each day. It doesn’t help that my life line has been hard to talk to lately. I have to even put on my brave face and pretend the Monster isn’t right behind me, watching every move I make.
If only my life line was available. If only I could talk about my day without my life line tuning me out. If only, if only. I can’t talk about my fears. I can’t talk about my accomplishments. I can only sit and think of the monster while I tell everyone else my life is perfect and I’m getting all that I need. I hate being so fake but it spares the fights with my life line. Some form of life line is better than no life line when the Monster is near.
At times, I feel my life line encourages the Monster. Unknowing what is happening to me and cutting off my outlet, my life line feeds the Monster. I just wish I knew the answers sometimes.