MY JOURNEY WITH THE big c

Just a quick update.  Finally talked to the one brother.  His advice – go out and enjoy life.  Go out and do what you want to do.  Travel, visit friends.  As for me I’m going back to Costa Rica next month.  Me — Don’t bring back any virus.  That’s all I keep getting asked by every medical professional.  Have you been out of the country in the last 6 months.  One brother down and one left to go not that I didn’t try but his phone was busy and when I called back there was no answer and I didn’t want to call him on his cell while maybe driving. 

First day back to work.  I felt good (when I walked in).  Thanks everyone for all your kind words and support and most important all your help and you know who you are.  You guys were my saviours yesterday.  HOWEVER after the first ½ hour each step felt like a mile and each hanger weighed a ton.  We all have heard of this extreme fatigue but I just never could have imagined just how debilitating it really would be.  You guys know me and how I can buzz around like nobody’s business.  I had a real problem with the eating thing.  The break room smells were just too overwhelming (thanks Sue for telling me to keep something in my pocket).  I held it together until I saw Terri.  Don’t know why.  At 9:30pm I just had to go sit down.  Melissa knew I was upset but I just needed a little cry.  Just 5 minutes but I just couldn’t go anymore.  Thanks Deb.  Your idea for my part and yours helped.  How long does this go on I wonder.  A day or two ok but I don’t know about much longer.  I just have to keep rearranging things to find the stuff that works.  Got some Ensure you know for extra everything.   I’ll try the chocolate one first.  My dad wouldn’t drink it when he was in the hospital.  Blue Gatoraid seems to help too.  Room temp and not cold.  Picked up the next round of chemo pills too.  Just so I don’t forget.  Like I’d really want to do that.  Haha.  Managed to drive home (row 4 is a LONG WALK at 10pm.  Got home, put my stuff down on top of the freezer in the kitchen and put my head down and gagged.  Made it to the hallway and Gagged again.  Got to the bathroom and hung my head in the tub and GAGGED again.  Put my head against the shower wall and cried.  The first time I cried at home.  They knew I was upset.   Normal bodily functions just aren’t right.  BUT I have to keep a schedule so I know what I do and when.  Don’t mean to gross you out but yes my friends that even means a shit schedule.  Did I or didn’t I and when.  Never really gave this natural process much thought before but now oh well just keep that pen and paper handy.  The husband made me some apple cinnamon oatmeal with extra cut up apples (small pieces no peel) and Giant Eagle currently has a special on ham at the deli.  Had a slice.  Not salty.  Went down well along with ½ a banana and the gatoraid.  Shower well actually make that shower BEFORE eating.  Had problem peeing at work.  Was putting in but it wasn’t coming back out like I thought it should.  Oh no the thought of dehydration entered my mind.  Gatoraid does help A LOT.  Blue one.  4:30 am got up to pee.  In the morning the husband said “you only flushed once.”  “How the hell did you know.”  “Because I was up at 4:00.” 

 

 

 

 

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