I want to live in a slew of drunkenness. I want to cut off all my hair and start wearing sweat pants to Walmart. Take a taxi every where I go because I am never there enough to drive. I want to give up my house and all my things and become a couch surfer. I want to shoot up a bunch of meth so I never pass out so I never have to dream. I want fuck men who don’t want to love or to hold me because I cant have the one who I want to love and hold me. I want to wonder the streets at 3am only caring about one thing and that’s to score some dope. I want to not be concerned about anything but how drunk I can get. I want to ruin my brain with drugs so I don’t have to think anymore. I want to leave panties in strange mens beds and call business men daddy when they buy me drinks. I want to throw out my name and my number and become no one. I want to steal all my clothes from the goodwill and not shower for days on end. grow a bush under each arm and walk around looking like I have a fruby in a head lock. ill stop wearing deodorant and loose a few teeth due to the meth. I want to kill my self right now so bad the thoughts scare me.