I’m all smiles

This week is all highs. I’m up above the clouds in disbelief that my life has taken such a huge turn for the better. I use to think suicide was beginning to look like an attractive option. Now I’m glad I that I refused to give up. I didn’t feel like I had anything to live for, but I didn’t want my kids growing up thinking that I didn’t love and care about them enough to try living for just a bit more.

I’ve been working out almost every day. I’ve taken a shine to Zumba (at home, on my wii). I hate working out in public. I’m very stiff and rigid. I don’t have fluid nor graceful movements. I rarely gesture. So while I love dancing and moving my body in motions that feel foreign I am rather self conscious about it. In private settings I could care less.  

I did a few routines last night. The Man joined me. It seemed like more of a game to us than a work out. Afterwards he sat and talked with me a bit. Long story short he’s concerned about his health and his weight. He’s worried about diabetes. It’s in his family. It’s not a fate he wants. Luckily he can do something about it. So the good news is I have an exercise buddy. We’re in this together. 

With our work schedules being crazy and opposing lately we’ve had trouble sharing the family jeep. I spend about an extra 2 hours of my day driving to and from The Man’s job so that I can get to mine. Today, we solved the problem. I am now the proud owner of a Ford Mustang. It’s not the newest nor the best model there is, but the price was definitely right. I’m not sure which one of us likes it more. The best part is: it’s a standard!!! I love driving stick. 

If I ended my life a few bad years ago I would miss being the proud owner of a mustang. I’d miss getting the chance to make things right with the man. I’d miss the kittens who I’d never own and yet give me so much love. I’d miss watching my kids grow. Time is given. You can’t buy it. You can give it up, but then you’re the one missing out. 

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