Last night was rough.  Not much sleep but I guess when you stay in bed all day anyway your body and systems don’t know the difference.  Some things I noticed.  Back spasms.  Not fun.  Shit twice and tp doesn’t cut it anymore.  A quick shower, two times, real quick in the middle of the night.  Damp nightgown.  Yuck.  One really crazy thing.  When I was sitting I would swear a skunk sprayed on my foot.  Right there.  Strong STRONG and  nasty. You know THAT smell.   It wasn’t outside either so it must have been ME.  Just GREAT. Freakin great.  It wasn’t there the next time I went in though.  Apologies to all who may have to endure THIS.  How embarrassing.  True but embarrassing.  Recognizing hunger pangs but food still tastes like poison burning poison.  And I am really hungry.  A weak kind of hungary.  For real honest to God HUNGARY.  How long does this last?  Anybody know?  Since I was awake most of last night I started getting philosophical thoughts.  Will share them here as I get to it.  The world is going to end up knowing a lot more than it ever wanted to.  The husband went to the store.  Wanted me to go you know go up and down every aisle.  What do you want.  And what good will that do?  No thanks.  Checked paycheck.  Good I can pay my county taxes.   Reassment.  Thanks you lousy crybaby school districts. Husband, bless his soul brought back all kinds of food.  I know it’s good, just not to me.  It   BURNS.  Something on news about c research and t cells.  Won’t be ready for 2 years SO.  Gunshots in the field now.  I guess if I lived in the city a 911 call would be in order.  But not here.  Everyday occurrence.  Hopefully they are getting some coyotes.  Yes folks coyotes.  There is a bounty on them.  Game commission released them around here well over a decade ago to control the deer.  There are a lot of them now.  When I come home at dark my son will meet me often with full armory.  The son has got a few.  I say the husband should call game commission.  They put them there; they need to get them OUT.  Maryann – thank you so much for the card.  Your thoughts mean more than you can ever know.  Still have those cuts.  OW.  Had touch of diahrea.  Got a sore behind.  Trying vasoline.  Any comfort will help.  Got a call today from Alice.  Nice of her.  Along with Maryann’s card I got a package in today’s mail.  I opened it far enough to see that it contained 3 things.  Just not ready to deal with that new me package just yet.  Not quite YET.  So glad I did the son’s work stuff yesterday and got it all done.  I say screw those bastards.  It’s their loss.  Let them deal with what they got.  They will see. 

Can I really complain much here.  NO I don’t think so.  I come from healthy stock – family-wise I mean.  Both parents healthy until the end.  Both  brothers healthy.   Same with grandparents (maternal).  Even my great grandparents.  I remember my great grandmother and was told that my great grandfather walked to mass everyday.   That is how he died.  Walking to mass.  How ironic.  Very religious.  Said Rosary as a family at least 8 times every day.  Mom said she hated it.  She hated going to the farm because she was the oldest grandchild who had to watch the others.  The farm was sold or something and turned into a type of private country club.  I never did find the family membership cards.  I remember seeing the pool right before it officially opened.  Never went  back. 

I must quote mom here.  I don’t have to worry about my daughter doing drugs.  She can’t stand pills and dreads needles.  And that leads me to get on my band wagon.  You know who you are so I won’t mention any names here.  QUIT sticking those damn lit  bombs in your mouths.   Very unattractive, STINKS, not to even get into the health risks. You know them.   Find a replacement.  To anyone currently on illegal drugs or thinking about it.   I have one question WHY?  Why would you want to feel like this – intentionally.   I’m getting a collection and I DON’T LIKE IT.  Scares the shit out of me.  I don’t like this feeling. 

Have to try to sleep tonight.  All night.  Can’t get my days and nights turned around.  Last day off tomorrow.  Have to go  to work after that.  I know people will get tired of all of this.  You have to do your part.  Honest I would rather stay in bed for the duration.  Hey if you bare your soul and all your past thoughts can you then die in peace.  Maybe that’s why there is  confession and all. 




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