The N Word

I have a filthy potty mouth that makes truck drives blush. I think there’s something striking about a teeny lil’ thing like me when I open up my wee lil’ mouth and the cuss words just pour out like steam. I like to be shocking.

I won the battle of swears when I was 12. My parents separated and my dad moved out. My mom, over powered by her 3 teenage kids just couldn’t seem to stop us from swearing. My parents never swear. I’ve heard my mom cuss once, exactly once.

Dinner would go “Hey bro, pass the fucking salt”. His reply “Here you go you little cunt.” To which my mom would say “You guys are awful.” We’d just laugh and laugh.

Swears lose their meaning when they become adjectives and verbs. After a certain point of hear “you’re so cute… until you open your mouth” you learn you are growing up. Maybe it’s time to talk like one.

There’s this list of truly forbidden swears I just can’t bear to utter.

The #1. No no word, the “N” word. So derogatory I just can’t say it. Not ever.

#2. GD and #3. JC. It’s a respect thing. 

#4. Retard. I hate this word with a passion. Don’t mock the mentally challenged. Not cool.

#5. Fag. Don’t mock gays. Not cool.


Up North, nobody says the “n” word. Nobody. That word has fallen off the face of the planet. Doesn’t matter if you’re white or black. No one uses it.

Down here I hear black people say it all the time. I know I probably have no right to say or think this, but it bugs me, people constantly saying the “n” word. They think it’s funny. 

I personally feel it’s disrespectful. For all those people who fight racism and discrimination, hearing this word all day at work it’s a slap in the face. That’s right. I’m half white, half Hispanic and the “n” word really bothers me.

I stopped swearing so much when I had my kids. Didn’t need for them to go off into the world with trash talk and toilet mouths. Monkey see, monkey do. So wouldn’t constant use of the “n” word keep it in circulation even with non blacks who have “no right” to say it?

I know it’s weird but it bugs me

4 thoughts on “The N Word”

  1. I’m glad you said you don’t use or like the word “retard.” My grandsons are autistic and intellectually challenged, and I have a close friend who uses “retard” a lot — not when talking about my boys, of course. Just putting somebody else down. It always stings me. Oh, well.

  2. I use to think swearing was hilarious… but even back then I knew it loses its laugh factor when used as insult. I could barely stomach writing that word out, but I assumed if I wrote the “r” word, no one else would know which word I meant. People with disabilities have enough strikes against them. They don’t need to hear that word EVER. What they need is love and support.

  3. Retard is a hard limit for us. Especially given the profession I’m in.
    Unfortunately “my nigga” is what my daughters and I call each other. Derogatory as THAT is, you’d never guess our other nicknames are “Darling mother” and “Darling daughter”. I swear.. a lot. Mostly under my breath, but I do it. I was raise by my grandparents and I don’t know that I ever heard them cuss growing up. Maybe the occasional “dammit”, but I don’t recall if I was still a child the first time I heard my gramma say it.

  4. I have mixed feelings about words such as the “n” word or the “r” word, I mean seriously we all know what words you are referencing so spit it out! Then we can deal with it. I wish we could say these words and discuss these words in a civilized manner. That is the only way they lose their power! It’s interesting too, when we write…it’s bold and it’s out there. Nuance and tone are hard to determine. But we all know in person…an insult can come with a twinkle of an eye…and the sweetest words this side of heaven can be dripping with venom.
    Oh and I cuss like a sailor always have. But I have this thing about using the lord’s name in vane…so I’ll say fuck instead of GD and um both are not really acceptable.

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