What Was Supposed To Be Posted On 7 March 2016

What Was Supposed To Be Posted On 7 March 2016, the day after my 46th birthday. 🙂

There has never been a bad birthday for me, aside from one year. The only thing that I can remember about that one was hyper homesickness since it was the first birthday that I was away from my family, & I was in the first depression of my life. I was not doing well & was having a crisis of many things, but mainly of faith. A few weeks later, things were good again after almost a year & four months of misery & dealing with stuff. On this, my 19th birthday (in 1989), though, things were still bleak in my mind & heart & soul.

The rest of my birthdays have all been good, though. Not many have been spectacularly special, but they don’t need to be to be good. Just knowing that life’s good & that I’m happy generally & getting lots of birthday wishes from people are plenty for me. Sometimes I’d like to have a huge party just for me, with lots of family & friends there to celebrate with me in person, but, overall, I’m quite content to just celebrate quietly with family & my cat.

I went over to Facebook to see if more birthday greetings had been posted to my Timeline from after I’d last checked early yesterday evening, & there were a few. Overall, I received well over 200 – maybe almost 300 – birthday greetings there, & I know that each one was sincere. I was surprised by some of the people who’d wished me a happy birthday since they never had before, but it was a wonderful surprise.

For me, birthday mode almost always lasts until at least a day or two after my actual birthday – I like to spread it out a bit. haha So I’m still in that mode today.

Some of my friends don’t acknowledge their birthdays, & some are outright hostile about the whole thing. One of my former FB friends even said that she doesn’t see the point in acknowledging people’s birthdays, & so she just ignores them. She said that it wasn’t worth the effort & that it wasn’t worth her time.

I was aghast!! Even my friends who don’t like the fact that they have them still send birthday greetings to those who do like it. To me, acknowledging other people’s birthdays, whether they acknowledge mine or not, or whether they like their own birthdays or not, is important. It shows that you’re taking the time to make that person important, even just for one day. It’s a way to at least try & make someone feel special & to say that they’re worth my time. I try to be in touch with as many of my FB friends – & other friends, both online & offline, as much as possible, but I know so many people that it’s hard to do this regularly. So I make a special effort if I know that it’s someone’s birthday to at least send them a greeting.

People can do what they like, & if sending a birthday greeting to another person isn’t important in their way of thinking, fine. That one former friend didn’t pay attention to other people’s posts on FB in general anyway, unless they acknowledged her or her writing, & she was pretty self absorbed to begin with. To be fair, she also didn’t post her own birthday on FB. So she also didn’t get birthday greetings, at least not by me or her other FB friends.

In case you’re wondering – & you might be – I didn’t unfriend her. She removed me & several other people from her FB list. She kept her account for her writing fan page on FB, but I’ve not seen it on FB for ages. So I guess she gave up on FB. I’m not quick to remove or to block people there or anywhere else – it takes a lot for me to get to that point, although if someone is mean, even mildly, to another friend, then I’m quick to block him/her. I try to protect my family & friends as much as possible. Cross them & you cross me. Be nice to them, though, & you’re on my good side.

I’m working on losing weight & my clothing sizes for health reasons. I am quite heavy, have high blood pressure & my bad cholesterol is bad. Thankfully my blood sugar’s always been at a good level, which is surprising if you know how much junk food I used to consume. This weekend I went on a big calorie splurge, but it was my birthday weekend, & it was fine since I don’t do that any more. I don’t even have the taste for pop or junk food that I used to anymore, & that makes me happy.

Today I’m back on track, & I had a homemade fruit smoothie for breakfast – it’s what I was craving, & I’d bought myself a personal blender with some of the money I’d received for my birthday. It’s heading on to noon, & so I’ll eat something. I have leftover pasta, & so I’ll have that, adding cheese to it for protein. I went for a walk this morning, & I feel good for having done so.

For 2016, I chose the word TRUST as my theme. I’ve not done resolutions for years, & this was a good option. I found out that it’s a huge thing right now – picking a word of the year. For me, TRUST is something on which I need to work when it comes to trusting in God for, well, everything. I’m good at trusting people – that’s always come easy for me, even though I’ve been hurt by others, & greatly so in a few cases, as most of us have – & I do have great faith in God. Or so I thought.

Over the past few years, though, as I’ve struggled & gone through the hardest decade of my life, I’ve realised that my level of TRUST in God hasn’t been nearly as high as I thought it was. So I’m renewing my commitment to studying about TRUST & to learning how to TRUST in God more fully.

For me, TRUSTing in God means taking risks of faith & stepping out when something might scare me but I know that it’s what I might do. I’ve never really been a risk taker, except when it comes to spending time out in nature, especially the bush. I have no problem being out there on my own, even in heavily wooded areas. I have no fear of that. I don’t really in fear, though, overall. I don’t see the point in that. Oh, I do have my fears – scorpions (which is weird since there aren’t any where I live here in BC’s Fraser Valley), spiders, fire (I love it & am fascinated by it, but it’s also one of my greatest fears), drowning (I love being in & near water & have no problem going swimming or the like, but if I feel like I’m going to drown, I start to panic. This is natural, though, I know), failing, &, on some level, succeeding. It’s interesting that snakes aren’t there. I’m not a fan of snakes, but ever since I had a boa constrictor around my shoulders one afternoon a few summers ago, I’ve not feared them. Well, maybe venomous snakes still hold a bit of fear for me, but not the rest. Yes, I have these fears, but I don’t live in a state of constant fear or on high alert that something bad’ll happen.

I choose to live life without being scared or down or negative or upset or angry all the time. Rather, I renew my choice to live a life of boldness, positivity, happiness, & joy. Of course these won’t be me all the time – everyone gives into the bad stuff once in a while, but I refuse to let them be my constancy any longer.

Give me the good stuff!! That’s my decision on this, 7 March 2016, the day after my 46th birthday. Who’s with me? 

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