I used to write a lot. But I feel like I cant write anymore. I’m trying, I’m trying, but I have no fucking ideas. I don’t get inspired. I watch anime and play video games and think how the fuck did anyone come up with this? I’m frustrated with my life and my long distance relationship. Hes not doing anything wrong things are just routine and I’m tired of it. My mom died in october 2015 and I feel like the world has lost color and meaning. I’m tired of my life. I suffer from depression and borderline personality disorder. I haven’t been taking my meds. This is all over the place. I feel ugly and I’ve been gaining weight. The simplest tasks make me want to cry. Like getting out of bed. hopefully my entries will lighten up. I just need to write my thoughts somewhere. I’m typing this as my boyfriend skypes me. I’m just angry and sad at the same time. I want to die but I dont have balls to commit suicide. It’s not a courageous thing. But you have to have enough will power and I don’t. I’m angry, I’m so fucking angry.