Friday, March 11th 2016
Now that I look back on it, today wasn’t so bad, but it felt bad during that time.
It started by me simply going to my bus stop like always, waiting there for around five minutes, thinking of whatever comes to mind until I become paranoid and believe I forgot to unplug my hair straightener. I texted my brother and he said he won’t return until 7pm to check on it. During the bus ride I told myself “It’s not like the house will catch on fire” and that made everything worse. I tried again and again to convince myself that it’ll just waste electricity (which is still worrying to me, but not as bad as your house burning down), until I began to think this whole scenario of how my parents call me cause the house burned down only to discover it’s because I didn’t unplug my straightener, so I almost cried in front of everyone in the bus until I decided to distract myself by tapping my fingers to the music I was listening to. When I got to school I asked my best friend if she knew what happens if you leave it plugged in (and I should know the answer because I’ve done it before and nothing happened, yet I was panicking this time anyway) and she said nothing much, only a waste of electricity if it’s turned on, so I felt better then to have someone tell me what I’ve been telling myself instead.
I then had math. At first we were doing revision of what we already saw and I had every question right for our work, but when it came to the teacher giving us the result to tests we took previously, my mood completely changed. It started by the most recent one: 69%, which shocked me because I was sure I was better this time. He gave us the two previous tests which was 79% and 79% (grade was lower because of “ability thinking” (direct translation) and I’ve always had a problem with that), but it was too late, because then I was in a bad mood and on top of that, I already (sorry boys) skipped my time of the month for I don’t know what reason, I thought they were regular by now, guess not, but anyway, I was already in a bad-ish mood, the test just assured that.
My best friend noticed that I was quiet (although I’m quiet, I was even more quiet than before) and usually when things like these happen I don’t like talking about it, so at that moment I wanted to crawl away from reality and that’s exactly what I did in art class by reading. That’s always how I’ve dealt with things other than praying.
In art class, I already knew we were going to watch a video and have a potluck, so I brought Philosopher’s Stone just in case, and I was wise to do so because we ended up watching a sports movie (and I’m not interested in that genre), so I read the book the whole class. I then read the book during lunch in the library, because none of my friends were there at lunch and I wanted to read more (which feels great, because it’s been years since I’ve been so engrossed in a book). Also during reading, my brother texted me he stopped by the house and it was unplugged, so I was relieved.
I began to go back to science class until my best friend said she had a surprise, which was a croissant with Nutella inside. I thanked her, since part of the gift must have been in attempt of cheering me up a little, but I wasn’t hungry because of the potluck and I already ate chocolate before so that didn’t help (surprisingly, cause chocolate usually helps). The grade didn’t bother me as much anymore by then, I was just in a bad mood.
Then I had English and we read more Romeo and Juliet. I got to say a lot of lines of Romeo and Capulet, so I was happy with that.
And yeah, now I’m home with the intention of creating a Hogwarts character called Mercusius. She’s a girl, even though it sounds like a boys name and the character also has thoughts on that. I was inspired by two names I like a lot: Mercutio from R&J and Severus from HP. I don’t have a story for her and even if I did I’d never finish writing my story like I always do, so I’ll just create her. I love creating characters even though they won’t have a role in a story, but sometimes I use them in the future.
That’s all for today.