expectations can disappoint or surprise…

i can’t believe  i have let someone walk all over me for a total of 11 year. yes, there were good times but the bad outweighed the good. What is wrong with me!? what makes me tick with a heavy loud echo that never seems to bring in the right atmosphere? i am fully aware where all this comes from, it is an urge fueled by the lack of love of those who should have had the unconditional heart to do so. so i fill this undying loneliness with toxic friendships and exploitative relationships which also have unattainable expectations. i’m the only one to blame, the only one who ends up hurts and once again i find myself alone picking up the pieces. 

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