Disney World 052


So I didn’t go to school today. I mentioned yesterday that I had a headache. Well that headache lasted till today. So I missed school to rest and see if it will go away. I’m currently at the house alone just laying down writing and listening to music. Am I the only one who has that special playlist that they play all the time? I have this playlist that I love to sing too. It’s great and peaceful.

So for today’s journal I have a good bit of time to write so I think I’m just going to do what I did yesterday except I will have more topics to write about. Hopefully they are somewhat interesting.

What am I afraid of?

When I was younger I would be afraid of childish things like spankings or just anything in general. As I have gotten older and wiser I have come to be more afraid of more complex things like falling in love or preaching false doctrine or being alone for the rest of my life. I can explain why I’m scared of those things.

I say I am scared of falling in love but it’s not that simple. I don’t actually mean falling in love; I mean I’m scared of trusting somebody with my heart because every time I do that I always get hurt. So I simply stopped falling in love and I stopped letting people know what is going on. I have ONE person that I will tell anything too. That is literally it. I find that it is easier to trust one loyal person with your personal information rather than a group of people that will spread my feelings and I will end up getting hurt. But don’t worry; I’m not saying that I’m never going to fall in love again. I’m just saying I’m keeping my heart in a safe place for a certain person when the time is right.

I said preaching false doctrine because missionary is my dream job. If I am preaching false doctrine then I am seriously messing up someone’s mind and my own. If I am preaching something it means I believe in it and to preach false doctrine me believing in something that is not true. I don’t want to go far into this topic so I’m just going to leave it where it is.

I am finally on my last fear and my biggest fear yet. I say that I am scared of being alone for the rest of my life because the fact that I won’t have anybody to care for or even cared about. I feel like I absolutely need someone to be with me on my journey. I’m scared to do this alone. Missionary is not easy and to be blessed with a partner is amazing. I’m not saying that I need a partner to do missionary with or I won’t do it but I’m saying that I am scared of not having a partner and then getting lost of my journey because I didn’t have someone to help guide me.

Do you read for pleasure?

I can say that I do read for pleasure but I have certain times that I will read. I don’t read at home but I read at school mainly. If I am going on a long trip I will also bring my book. I don’t really know why I don’t read at home but I simply don’t. I feel like I have better things to do. I love reading harry potter and it brings me pleasure to read it. It’s very action packed and suspenseful. S o I guess the answer to that question is yes, I do read for pleasure.

I thought I wanted to write about a bunch of different topics but I only got two. I don’t really know what to write about in all honesty. I’m sure I could come up with something if I thought hard enough but I can’t bring myself to write like I usually do.

Philippians 4:9- whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.  

Well, that’s about it for today. I will keep yall updated as I continue with my journey through life.

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