Missing Old Friends

I’ve been thinking a lot about my old friends and where they’ve gone.

I used to play this online game called Moshi Monsters. Yes. Moshi. Monsters. Ever heard of it? No, of course not, because it’s aimed at like six-to-twelve-year-olds. But anyway, besides the fact that I used to play it and actually kind of miss it because my room was really pretty *ahem*, I actually made one really great friend on it. Daisy. My Australian penfriend/email buddy/internet pal. I can’t even remember how long I’ve been talking writing to her–first we just chatted on the gaming website, and then I gave her my email (not the email you see when I comment on your journals, that’s my fake-name-spam-email, but my actual real-name-legit-email), and we’ve been writing to each other ever since. She’s really sweet. We don’t write like, a lot at a time, but it’s always really nice to hear from her and just know that someone so far away thinks about me and considers me a friend.

And that’s why I would like to write to some more people. I love having people to talk to, getting to know them and laugh with them and really bond with them. But my elementary school friends have long forgotten me, and we’re all so much older and so different that I don’t really think about them, because there’s no hope that we’ll ever meet again. My old middle school friends are all far away, and we haven’t seen each other in a long time so I guess you could say we don’t really connect anymore. My friends from Wuhan…well, they weren’t exactly really close friends, and the one guy I really liked (not that way) I didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye to. And my Changsha friends…let’s not go there just now. I miss them so much, and the other day I passed by our school–just ten minutes away from them–and I was feeling this deep heartache because I couldn’t see them. But they’ll forget me soon, I hope, and stop thinking about me. They think I’ve already moved to Texas, which is not true, but that’s what they think.

I also used to have a German penfriend, Finnja, that I miss. She stopped writing for some reason. She was always so nice and she sounded so smart and so interesting.

There used to be a writer on this site–SleepTight. I miss her. She was really nice, really sweet; she was learning German. And I always wondered why she just stopped writing–no goodbye, nothing. I still don’t know. Even though I know it’s impossible now, I still hope she’ll come back. AnnieCat also, because she helped me get through some ruts in my life and I’ve wondered a lot about how she’s doing. She was honestly like a friend because I would read about her life and she would read about mine.

And of course TTSA. Cool dude who did ballet in the UK. I loved reading about his life–I’m something of an Anglophile (blame it on Doctor Who and too much Dan and Phil and Shakespeare and a love for British accents) and it was really fascinating to hear what school is like in Britain. At least school for people who are learning how to dance. He was like a friend, too–a friend that I’ve never met, obviously, but still a really cool friend.

Also Twigs. Twigs wrote the other day on the site, and I was really glad! She didn’t seem to write a lot before but every time she did, I would feel like we were very similar. I think I saw a lot of my own emotions in her writing.

LunyLove, too. She was a Potterhead (still is, I think) and that’s awesome.

And now, of course, there’s Lee and Observant Bystander, and Ashen; California Dream writes occasionally (he’s really awesome), and there’s savedbygrace (I think that’s her username) and BrittanyMichelle and sometimes firelily and I don’t even know who else. Tons of people. The disappointing thing about it is that some people write once and never do it again–just leave right when you’re looking forward to hearing about them.

I just miss all the friends I’ve had, and I keep worrying that I won’t be able to fit in or make new ones once I move to Texas. I’m so sentimental and sometimes I feel weepy just thinking of my old pals and the fun we used to have. I hope it’s normal (or at least not too weird) to feel this way.

Tomorrow I think I’ll write more about the particular people I miss. It feels nice to know that I got to befriend people who were so good and so kind.

One thought on “Missing Old Friends”

  1. Totally normal to feel that way, I do the same sometimes. But like you said, looking back on it and appreciating the friends you had and how they had an affect on your life, helps you see who you’ve become today.

    Also, we should have a chat one day! By reading your entries, you seem like a really nice person to talk to.

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