“Bury It”

I’ve recently fallen in love with CHVRCHES. They’re an electronic band and they make really amazing synthpop music. I think my favorite song so far is The Mother We Share, it’s so beautiful, but Bury It is lovely too. Lauren Mayberry has a lovely voice and that faint Scottish twang that comes out during certain words sounds so pretty! It’s nice to find another artist to love, because the only band I really like is Paramore, and I don’t have any other favorites to listen to 24/7. I mean, Coldplay sounds nice, too, and so does Muse, and The Killers and Arctic Monkeys (actually I really like Arctic Monkeys because I love Alex’s British accent). I basically listen to everything that sounds “nice”, so I don’t have many favs. Lots of people on Tumblr seem to love Panic! at the Disco and Fallout Boy, but I don’t really like Fallout Boy (no offense to any FB fans), and my favorite Panic! album is Pretty. Odd. Troye Sivan has a really nice voice, too. Some songs I like for the lyrics, some songs I like for the melodies, and some songs I like because I love the singer’s voice. Hayley Williams has this dynamic, huge voice that just sounds so awesome, which is part of the reason why I love Paramore.

Anyway, thinking about music always makes me think of my old friend, Chris. He was the friend I had during my year in Wuhan. I haven’t seen him ever since last June, and I miss him a ton even though we weren’t really like, really close friends. I don’t even have his cell number or anything. But anyway, he loved music–he just loved American and British pop culture a lot–which was why he was going to go to the US for college; still is going to go, probably. He was a fan of Taylor Swift and Katy Perry (don’t say anything insulting because you think guys can’t like female artists) and he was really invested in all sorts of music charts–he thought that watching the songs climb or drop from the charts was more interesting than watching most soap operas. He also watched Grey’s Anatomy, and he thought that Ed Sheeran had a nice voice. We would just talk about movies, shows, music, and places all the time and he was the first friend I ever had that I could just talk about that sort of stuff with. Plus he was the only guy friend that I talked to a lot, because most of the boys I’ve met in my life either give me funny stares when I speak or always give one-sentence answers. He was just really nice and really funny and I just miss talking to him.

I remember he was hoping to go to a Katy Perry (or was it Taylor Swift?) concert during the summer, or something. He was kind of worried that he would miss it because he had to take the TOEFL exams around the same time; he’d already missed a T-Swift concert once because he’d had to take his high school entrance examinations then. Oh yeah, and he read Harry Potter. He was in the International Class in the school and he had to learn more English than normal Chinese students, so he read a ton and watched a lot of things like The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

I remember one of the times we talked was after Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood video came out. It was released in May, right, and a few days after we talked about it and how cool it all looked. He was super stoked; he’d been looking forward to it for a long time, since Taylor was showing all those pictures of her starring friends online and everything. And then when I thought I had to take exams that I hadn’t even prepared for he laughed a lot but also gave me lots of sound advice like don’t use mechanical pencils and don’t write more than eighty words on the English essay and stuff like that. I don’t even know…he was such a nice person, and he was smart too (he actually got good grades, so he could’ve just stayed in China, but he wanted to go abroad for college, and his sister had done it too). He also recommended lots of music to me, including British singers I’d never heard of.

I wish I could talk to someone about music and stuff now. My friend from Changsha, 邱一羚, talked about music and movies too but she was more focused about K-Pop and J-Pop, which isn’t exactly my thing (I think K-Pop is fine, but I don’t listen to it a lot), although she was a big fan of Lorde and Taylor Swift, too. She also loved Asa Butterfield (you know, the actor) and we talked a lot about pop culture, too. And another Changsha friend, 赵彦琪, was simply obsessed with Luhan (Chinese pop singer, former member of EXO-M) and Miley Cyrus. Which…uh…not really for me.

Like I said yesterday, these things make me sad. Thinking of the friends I’ll never see again. Just thinking of what they liked to listen to and their celebrity favs makes me sad. I suppose I could just “bury it”–bury those memories deep down and just not think about them anymore, but I want to remember. I want to remember that I was lucky enough to have met such nice people, people who (I think) liked me for me, and actually seemed to enjoy my company. The best feeling in the world is the one you get when someone seems to like talking to you as much as you like talking to them.

This is the first journal I’ve named after a song for a long while. I used to have the habit of naming journals after songs I loved, but I haven’t done that in a while. I should do it more often; it’s a nuisance, naming new journals, because I’ve always sucked at thinking up titles and names for stories, poems, songs, personal essays, stuff like that.

Hopefully I’ll write more tomorrow. In the meantime, have a good Monday (this day will pass, I promise you, even if it sucks) and stay chill.

(PS though: I should really think of something to say at the end of every journal. I always say “have a good ~” and “stay chill” and “hopefully ~” and it sounds so lazy.)

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