Missing mama

It’s crazy…every day I miss her…I miss her so much.  I have yet to go a day without shedding tears.  The crying frustrates me. I mean it doesn’t change a damn thing it just blurs my vision and makes my nose stopped up and, and, and.  Yesterday I spent a good part of the day with one of my oldest and dearest friends. She still has both her folks, both in their 90’s and of course both and ever concern.  Anyhow, I ended up showing her mom’s birthday shot…a few weeks before she passed.  And then I saw that beautiful pic of mom and dad so young and vibrant 23 and 22 respectful, showed her that and we both cried.  When I went to bed last night I had a bought of that kind of almost hysterical crying (I don’t do that often) sobbing because I wanted to call her so badly and tell her all about my lovely weekend and I couldn’t.  Every single day…this breaks my heart.  I know it will get more bearable but when?  I’m working and crying at the same time.  I just want to crawl into a hot shower and sob my heart out then crawl into my bed and sleep it off.  But not gonna happen. Well not gonna happen for another 11 to 12 hours anyhow.

6 thoughts on “Missing mama”

  1. I’m so sorry. It hurts to miss someone that bad.

    Have you tried writing her a letter with all those things you want to say and how much you are effected by her passing?

    Your love for your mom is so beautiful and touching. I hope you find comfort. ((Hugs))

  2. I find in times like these – when I feel like nothing can comfort me – if I close my eyes my sister comes to me as a sort of a very soft and light white blanket that wraps around me. Like she is embracing me. It’s been that way since she left this life. Sit quietly and imagine your mom as she is now – free from any suffering, happy, and with you every moment – embracing you with her love.

  3. Marathon Mama…such a lovely idea. I will try that. I’m so glad your sister comes to you like that, it is so special. You write about it so beautifully. Mom came to me a few weeks ago in a dream. Indeed just envisioning that peace is like a warm embrace.

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