Leave me!!

I WANT THE THOUGHTS OUT OF MY MIND!!! The thoughts of failure and disgrace. I cant sit for a second doing nothing, it brings depressing thoughts. The only solution I have found is to watch movies and listen to music, it keeps my mind busy. I never did watch videos at night on my bed, but now I watch it till my eyes are tired and in hopes that I will fall asleep. Without it, I just toss and turn for hours and hours just remembering what is happening in my life and see a very bleak future ahead of me. How can I make this stop? 

Everyone around me thinks I am happy and a fun person, I just want to scream and let out my frustration and let them know that something is eating me up from inside and I think I am letting it. I want these thoughts to leave me. I want them to change into something happy but they never do. All I see is pain and suffering i the days ahead. I want someone to understand that I am not happy. All I do when I am sad is smile in front of people and go into my room ans stare vacantly at the wall or my laptop, but all I ever wanted is someone to understand whats going on without me telling them.

I want to think happy thoughts and at least in my imagination see a future that seems good and promising. Hoping..  

5 thoughts on “Leave me!!”

  1. Believe me i really know your situation, because i feel and act nearly the same as you described… Sometimes it is easier to suffer then to ask for help, but in the end only you can help yourself if you ask someone who you really trust to help you, even if you want that someone recognize your suffering by themselves…

  2. Time to find someone trustworthy to talk to, dear. You don’t want to go on like this. I promise there will be someone to care and listen to you and help you solve the puzzles and traumas. God bless you. Coolgirl too. Better times ahead!

  3. I relate you very well…during the last days everything bad happens…no good from any other side..i’m also losing hope.. And really dont know what to act
    Hope better days are coming for us too :))

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