My Heart Bleeds

My Heart Bleeds
I don’t know when it began
It came on so slowly
All I can think of are the times he held my hand
All I can think of are the times he squeezed it to keep me from leaving my body
All the times I looked at him lost and hopeless and he showed strength even though he was scared
My heart feels the emptiest it ever has it hurts because it’s all my fault
My illness drove him away
It stole everything from me…
Including him
My words cut through him like a knife
Wounding him in ways he never imagined possible
Those words would never be spoken, they’d never enter my mind if it wasn’t for this
This hell that damages and destroys everything in it’s path
Leaving nothing but emotional wreckage and scars behind
Every time something like this it haunts, it pierces through the heart
He will never know how much I loved him or how deeply I suffered for him
How traumatized I was by everything that happened to me and all I wanted was him close
I had never loved anything in this false reality called life more than him
I didn’t know what true love was before him
And yet I destroyed him as I watched it all unfold
Watching and the real me wanting to be a life preserver to bring him to shore
To dry him off and hold him
Ill never be the same
My soul is broken

One thought on “My Heart Bleeds”

  1. This is a very poignant poem. It makes me ache for you. I hope the future will be filled with new happiness. Blessings.

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