First Entry

Well, this is my first post…so please bare with me. I don’t really know where to start other than to start rambling. I guess I have this problem where I cannot tell anyone how I am truly feeling, not my mom or even my best friend. But keeping everything inside all the time is going to make me explode. So, I thought maybe doing it anonomyously on line might make it easier to get stuff off of my chest. To be quite honest, the thought that someone could find out who I am through this site scares me. I do not know why I am so afraid of letting anyone know my fears and problems. I have done nothing illegal… nothing unethical. I just cant express myself to anyone. I cannot even truly express my feelings to myself anymore. By this I mean I’ve stopped crying. Whether I am sad or not I have not cried, which to me is weird. I mean I wasn’t really a crier before, I wouldn’t cry infront of anyone but sometimes when I was alone i would, but now nothing. I do not know the exact date that I stopped just that I haven’t cried since I have been at college even though I have been going through tough stuff. I moved into my dorm room on Augest 23rd, 2015. So that makes it 7 months to the day. Anyway I’m just hoping that this site might help me. I used to use tumblr to express myself because I didn’t have anyone I knew following me. But that all changed when one of my close friends, lets call her “Georgia” went behind my back and found out my name and started following me. After that she told others and I can’t post anything I want to anymore because thats not my space anymore. It really hurt me that she did that. I had explained that tumblr was my space but she didn’t care. So for the past year I haven’t had anywhere to express myself. To be honest I got the idea of looking up an online journaling website from the movie “Perks of Being a Wallflower”. Because it helped the main character to write and know that someone somewhere was reading it. He never recieved any responces and I dont expect to either. It just feels good to know that someone out there understands. So to whomever reads this, if anyone ever does, thank you. I don’t know how often I will find myself writing, I am a really busy person that should be working on a geography project right now instead of writing. But I needed to get this out. So again… Thank you

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