It is currently 8:56 and I’m listening to Give Me Love x Ed Sheeran. I have an extremely nauseating feeling in the core of my stomach. My chest hurts, almost like I can physically feel my heart ‘breaking’.
I’m not going to say any names, but someone who is extremely close to me has really been worrying me lately. I don’t think she realizes the dangerously fast, downhill speed she’s going. I can’t even talk to her about it and express my concerns in fear of her being upset with me. I am no one to tell someone else how to live their life, or to even really put my opinion in. But I am seriously worried. I know she’s just being young and dumb, and I want her to have as much fun as she can, but she’s starting to get involved with things that are actually dangerous. I miss the way she used to be sometimes. I miss the girl who spent endless nights up with me talking about our future. We never really even spend time together anymore, and I believe it’s because of the things she’s gotten into. I’m definitely down for having a good time, but I’d much rather go outside and enjoy the world. Being ‘messed up’ or ‘jacked’ is just a turn off anymore. What’s the point in doing something if I’m not going to remember it the next morning?
I want her to be happy. I desperately want her to be happy. But I also do not want to see her end up in a hospital bed, or even worse, a casket…
I’d lose myself if I ever lost her.
I really wish she could see that.
She’s my best friend. She knows about all of my inner demons, all the skeletons in the closet. She’s my rock. She’s part of my happiness. I want her to have a bright future, and to make something out of herself the way I know she can. I want to be at her graduation, and see her make it through college. I want to be in her wedding and have her kids refer to me as an aunt.
I love her.