1 year

 1 year has now passed

Since you have been gone 

I cannot believe the time that has lapsed 

I still remember everything that was done 


1 year since I said goodbye

Over the phone 

Sliding down to the laundry room floor, I cried 

At that point all you could do was moan


1 year since you were in existence 

I used to hate you

Wouldn’t even let you get out a sentence 

For all you did to me, to everyone else too


1 year since I saw your face

Blue and purple bruises covering you

The smell of mourning and a trace, of sadness

My eyes burned from confusion and the state of you


1 year and I am still haunted

By the memory of your viewing 

The echoes of your mother’s chanting

I will never forget that day, a picture of you I am never losing


1 year since I lost my mother

But has it really been a year

Because even though I do love you, I am bothered

You were never there for me before to care


1 year since you became a vase

A porcelain piece on a shelf you now sit

You had more than a touch of life, a taste

I don’t think you ever really could handle it


1 year today

I process everything that happened between us

I look back to the yesterday

It was the trust


1 year and I have moved on

I do miss you, my mother

You chose to do what you did to you 

I shall now pull over the cover


1 year and I can’t keep you floating in my mind 

I have so many things moving forward 

And now you are my past, behind 

I am living, something I think you never understood, 

And I have a reason too, something to look towards


1 year and I still don’t know how I feel about you 

I cannot forget everything you did to me, just because you’re gone

I have few good memories between us two 

I suppose I will just hold onto those while I stare at the dawn, of tomorrow. 



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