I think I’m strong, I think I’m finally moving past the pain, and just like that – I close my eyes and it’s all back again. the happiness. the love. the care. the bliss. the pride that would swell in my heart.

and I crumple back down.

I am nothing. I am insignificant. I will never be loved. I am uncherishable. I am unworthy – these thoughts swirl in my head as Satan tries to reign me back in.

why must I go through the torturous pain of seeing you again every time my eyes rest? youre always there. always waiting. always looking at me with that sweet sweet smile.

every night you stalk me, haunting my dreams. some nights you’re with me again, I in your arms, you singing your lullaby of love and hate. and then other nights you torment me, leaving me again and again. recurring the same dreadful spiral into the pit of grief. missing the moments we shared in time that will remain forever, past the dusk of infinity.

some days I am so strong that I conquer the world. I look forward to a future that I will never be able to share with you. and some nights I am so weak that my lungs will not open. I look forward to a future that I will never be able to share with you

Boatloads of shame
-We share this equal and the same-

Love writes a letter and sends it to Hate…Hate reads the letter
and throws it away.
-I’ve tried and tried, don’t
throw it away.-

I look back to a past that was filled with words and wishes that will last forever and beyond. I am so sorry, forgive me. forgive my rotten ways, forgive my lonely mind, forgive my over-bearing soul.

forgive me. forgive yourself.

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