Still here.

Hello.

It is a rainy, meditation type of day. I have been so thoughtful it is almost peaceful. I have been trying to make peace with everything that has been happening for the last couple of months. I wish I could help you. I want to help. I want to be strong enough to carry you in my arms and place you in your bed, help you sleep and kiss you in your forehead. I wish I would be there, right on time to hold before you fall on those days in which you get extremely tired. I would love to be the one who warms you up on cold days and the one who heals you when you are sick. I want to be the one who does your laundry. The one who cooks for you and the one to hear your “I’m home” the day you get home from work. I wish I could heal all your hurts. If you would just let me be it. Tell you that it will all be okay and show you that I will do anything on my behalf to make everything okay. To massage your feet when you are tired. To be your rock. We make of life such a struggle when it doesn’t need to be. I miss you. I would do anything to bring back our years. To go back on our mistakes. Our perfect relationship. If you would ask me again, I would still marry you. 

 

I am still here.

 

-Lela.

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