3/28 – this week will be one I remember.
A little back story here – I have been living with a guy friend roommate for the past few years. He is a friend of mine and took me in about 3 years ago when I was between jobs and in bad shape. He was a savior at the time. It was mutual – he was also going through a very tough time with his work and needed the income desperately. The rate STARTeD reasonable – 600 a month for a room in the house.
he plays bass and me drums. I got into the local garage band, in his garage, and it was a blast. I have had a ton of fun over the years – albeit way too much ‘party’ in band, unhealthy. But fun!
over time, I have adopted the ‘Madison way’ of living – out of boredom in town mostly -everyone here lives for one of two bars. Daily. If you don’t go, you will not socialize. So… Being social … Resisting at first – here I am, going to these bars daily as well. Dumping cash. It sucks.
also, living conditions at home have been tough – yes my roomy is a great dude, good friend, but it is very clearly his house — a few contentions made that clear, details not important. So my room became a tomb over time. The house fell into disrepair, he stopped caring from financial burden and so did I.
the spiral down has been slow. Monthly being broke due to the bar. House getting worse and nobody caring. Stagnation. Not progressing. Intentionally failing tons of relationships and great women due to – well – depression mostly, if it could be called that.
so fast forward to start this journal…
this week is time to move on. After Taxes came back – I had the money to move out! Unfortunately, lifestyle killed my credit along with a car repo, sooooo limits options. Found a place yay! It is gonna cost me a ton – everything in fact – and I own nothing right now. But I am doing it. Moving out this week. With nothing and no left over money. Money will come back.
i look so forward to a new lifestyle – west Hartford ! Live alone! Way way way less drinking, and finally quit the smoking (roomy smokes a lot and drinks a lot and wants company). I can’t wait to walk a lot, loose a ton of weight! Meet new people! And with my own place – no smoking less drinking – maybe meet a quality woman. Down t road, work on me first.
right now I feel like I am in a vacuum !!! Still here, lease done with new place, a week to go. Spending time with old friends who treat me kinda like ‘dead man walking’ expecting to never see me again. Yes I will see them less often for sure, but plans are to visit neighborhood often to say hi and keep friends. I know they will grow distant though.
So that’s the first entry… More to come as I move out.