i want to be happy

I am so so so so so fed up of feeling alone. When am I ever going to be happy about my fuckinng life? There is nothing wrong with my life yet here I am trying to find the problems between the cracks. I just want to have someone with me to travel my life with, I want to share experiences with someone and for them to actually want my company. 


I want someone to love me. 


Im spending all of my weekends fucked up because I have nothing better to do and no one to spend it with. Now I’m getting paid tomorrow and all I can think about is getting a gram of Ket because I know that will make me feel better. 


I haven’t touched it for weeks by the way, I’ve not been doing too bad. Unfortunately I have been getting pissed up and doing coke because… Well it just makes me feel better. 


It makes me question how much is needed of something make someone happy… Whether that be company, alcohol, drugs, flowers, food and so forth. When do we decide that enough is enough? I never can. I just can’t. 


I just want to be fucking happy. 

But you know, shit happens 

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