My last Cig

At 9:53 pm I went out for my last cigarette, except that’s what I always say. But I don’t have a pack, so I bummed one out of my Mothers’.  See, Last night I was sick as a dog, I was vomiting like a Dog who had just eaten an entire tray of truffles. “Lol my Zoey did do that,  just only 1 Month ago”. But during this entirely gross moment that I am having, “which by the way felt like all of my muscles were being torn out of my mouth” I for some reason had a thought, and that thought was. “I just have to quit smoking”. I couldn’t breath during that special moment the Toilet, and I shared. So I thought again to Myself.” I know it’s hard to breath because of what is happening right now, But I for some reason thought that I could have been able to breath better if it wasn’t for the smoking.
    Today when I woke up, I had no urge to have a cigarette. Don’t get me wrong, its the first thing I thought of this morning. Even though I still felt rubbish, I still wanted that damn cigarette. I’m not going to lie, but I did have 3 and a half today. I’m not too ashamed of it, because usually I go through over half a pack to a pack a day, so three was good for me.  The funny thing is, I still really wasn’t craving a cig that bad today, I had my last one tonight just KNOWING I was really having my last one. I don’t have an urge for one, and I’m scared as hell of how I am going to feel when I wake up. But I feel pretty positive about this. I looked at my cigarette just as I was only taking my last 2 puffs, and I said This is it, I was absolutely certain that was it. And it is going to be..     

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