(Yes I still have the chain you left in my dorm..)
She told me, “Why don’t you just let that poor boy go already? Stop wasting his time Marie! Obviously he still doesn’t know what he got himself into, and the longer you drag him on, the more it’s gonna hurt when he does snap to it.”
There were a few things else but I’d rather not repeat them, my mom has no filter sometimes haha
It’s not the first time I’ve heard that from my family, but lately I’ve actually given their words some thought. Don’t judge me, I know that some would think “Well if you did love him, you wouldn’t think twice about letting him go”. Well here’s the thing about that.
1. This isn’t the first time I’ve given my trust to someone who said they’d always be there for me, even on my bad days. Who promised to never leave or give up. Yet what happened? I finally let him be there on a semi-bad day, and the boy couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t even me at my worst.. After that, I just gave up on relationships, forever alone didn’t seem as bad as heartbreak again.
2. The fact that I DO love him is the only reason I’m giving it any thought.- He’s still young and supposed to be living life worry free, not panicking when I don’t text back because he thinks I’m in the damn hospital again. He needs someone who can be there for him not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, because my baby is almost as screwed up as me. 😆 He needs the type of support that I can’t give, not right now at least. How am I supposed to be there to heal someone when I can’t even get a hold on myself? He deserves more.
3. I’m a bum. I don’t work, well because I can’t physically handle it.. Still that’s no excuse. I don’t want someone to have to support me. I wasn’t raised like that. Even though I’m sick, I’d rather over work myself than to ask for a handout or admit that ,yeah, I need help. I have nothing going for me anymore and in a way I feel that he’s realized that by now. He works. He tries. He does. His shit gets done.
He hasn’t seen me at my worst, a bad day, or even a semi-bad day. The most he’s seen is a normal day, and I could see that he couldn’t even take that. I’m not saying I’m going to end it, because right now as juvenile as it may sound, he’s my rock.
He’s different from the last in every way. When he tells me he won’t give up I don’t believe it at first, but for some reason that dummy smile of his makes me melt and give in to every word he says.. We’ve only been together 9 months as of April 5th which isn’t long what-so-ever, but when you’ve been through the stuff I have in a short amount of time, it seems like forever. If he could take it this long maybe he is the one? Then again, it’s easy to deal with someone when you don’t see them so often.. It seems cruel, but it’s true isn’t it? If you love something, set it free.
Should we set each other free? Should I have even given her comment any thought? Are you finally coming to your senses sweetheart? Or will we just be young and stupid until one of us ends up in the ground?