Dang I’m so tired today…utterly exhausted. It’s like I can barely keep my head up and my eyes open and I’ve typed about zilch. Mondays can be rough because I catch up on rest on the weekend (I can’t resist) then I often don’t sleep well Sunday night. Well truth told except for the occasional weekend long nap…I seldom sleep well.
Talked to baby bro this a.m. (well I talk to him every day) and we were both talking about how sad and how very tired we are. All the years of caring for mom…have left us completely exhausted. Exhausted and overwhelmed we each have an incredible amount of house work and just routine stuff to catch up on that was put off for years while she was sick. It is so weird…when you put virtually all of your personal life on hold for years then when that period of time is over and you aren’t on hold anymore it is very hard to push the start button.
This a.m. as I was heading to the basement to grab my jeans out of the dryer I again thought how lovely it would be to be retired…my brain was spinning around the lovely idea of quitting work in two years at 65. Of course the reality of paying of my bills before then (esp. my car) and living on such limited income wasn’t crossing my brain. All I was thinking of was my lack of sleep the night before, how I was running late and not working Overtime tonight, how I have to work after work at brother’s office and how all I want to do is SLEEP. That is the essence of this gray, cloudy cold day I just want to sleep!
However I shall try and be semi responsible and see if I can’t hack out a few short statements before I leave here. UGH, just UGH, UGH, UGH and a couple of YAWNS too!