Losing Hope

I’m losing hope. Last time I had hope for something, my boyfriend ended up in juvie. So yeah, I lost hope. I try not to think about it, but there are so many things that remind me of him. It’s affecting my attitude when I talk to my friends and family. He didn’t deserve this. I can’t keep sitting around acting like everything’s okay. I’m tired of being the happy person everyone comes to when they’re upset. I love helping people, but none of the people I help ever bother to help me. I can barely count on anyone at school. They’re too caught up in their own problems to even bat an eyelash at me. I have a few close friends, though. Some friends who have texted me asking if I feel any better. I appreciate them alot. Most of the time, my internet friends understand the most. The one thing they won’t understand, is how happy he made me. They weren’t around to see me always smiling & laughing with him. There was so much drama going on, yet he would still manage to make me smile. I wish I could undo this. I want him back. I need him. I don’t feel like tweeting as much as I used to, and I don’t feel like getting out of bed. I don’t feel like doing anything that used to make me happy. I’m delusional for thinking he might get out early and come back before the school year ends. I can’t even write to him because I don’t know what to say. I can’t imagine how he must feel. Please, come back soon. I’m waiting.

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