Last night was crazy. It didn’t have to be but it was. We picked Alpha (4/mine) and Bravo(3/his) up from their other parents. We do this every Sunday. Alpha was a little emotional in the car and I chucked it up as a long day or no nap. We get home get dinner around and Alpha refused to eat. That turned i into a huge unnecessary fit and fight. First with Hubs then with me.I made matters worse with my crazy hormones. Next thing you know Alpha is screaming about living at his dads how much he hates me this house and everyone in it and doesn’t want to be here and I’m yelling FINE! I will never come pick you up again and your dad can come get you. I was crying and throwing clean laundry. like I said not necessary. My job is to defuse situations not fuel them and make them worse. I could not stop crying and I got him to calm down finally. his face washed,teeth brushed, and into bed. I cried in the shower and felt like the worst mother int he world when I went to bed. I did go into his room and apologize and tell him I love him and that tomorrow was going to be a better day. I cant stop thinking about how this all went down and why the hell did I get so crazy and upset? I think between the frustration of his disrespect and him not wanting to be there hurts to hear. Mix in him crying started my crying and my tears turned to anger from the hurt. That was all not fair at all on my part. He is four and has every right to have emotions and express them without me flying off the handle and losing my mind too. Today is a new day hopefully a better day. He seemed alright when I dropped him off to daycare but I really don’t know.
30s.mom.wife.blended family. His,Mine, Ours...I will call them Alpha,Bravo and Charlie. This is just a place to say what I think. I have so much on my mind at times and no idea who to talk to or how to even word things so I just need a place to dump it all.