Am I the only one?

It’s 3:33 am being awaken by this beautiful storm I can’t help but think its the reason for my mood. Everything is hitting me at once. I feel alone but never really am. I want a deep connection, someone to talk to for hours while I can’t sleep, someone I can wake without being yelled at – to comfort me. Do you ever just miss a certain bond you have with someone but not them? I feel that way too much and so often. I’ve never felt this alone in a relationship and this stuck before. I’ve given up my friendships and my social life to please Victor and tell him whats wrong and he still does nothing to change it. I live for Hayes and being his mother but I’ve lost who I am. No hobbies, no friends, no time to myself yet so alone. Does anyone understand? Am I the only one? I want to make someone so happy they’d rather be up when I am and have endless meaningful conversation. 

2 thoughts on “Am I the only one?”

  1. Bless your heart. You have a deep loneliness, plus you are tired. For the loneliness and for rest I urge you to “talk” to Jesus. He is available 24/7 and loves you the way you long to be loved. He listens for your voice when you are silent. When you talk to him about Anything—-he is happy, just to be near you. It’s true.

  2. You are not alone at all. Consumed and swallowed by the thoughts and no one that understands but for me I chose not to let anyone close enough to even try to understand me. Being a mother you do feel lost and unable to identify who you are anymore. I feel same way all the time. I have yet to open up in my journal because I still just cant. always here if you need someone.

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