It’s 3:33 am being awaken by this beautiful storm I can’t help but think its the reason for my mood. Everything is hitting me at once. I feel alone but never really am. I want a deep connection, someone to talk to for hours while I can’t sleep, someone I can wake without being yelled at – to comfort me. Do you ever just miss a certain bond you have with someone but not them? I feel that way too much and so often. I’ve never felt this alone in a relationship and this stuck before. I’ve given up my friendships and my social life to please Victor and tell him whats wrong and he still does nothing to change it. I live for Hayes and being his mother but I’ve lost who I am. No hobbies, no friends, no time to myself yet so alone. Does anyone understand? Am I the only one? I want to make someone so happy they’d rather be up when I am and have endless meaningful conversation.